Why is Being Home so Difficult?

I do not want to be here.  Right here is my home where I dream of the trail.  Returning home, after a long thru hike, is by far the most difficult task of the adventure.  It can be dismal.  After months of hiking,  a new person emerges from their old shell.   Unfortunately, the rest of the world is the same.  Upon reemergence to regular life, one tries desperately to hold on to their “new self” and rise above the day to day chaos and strife.  Little by little, life’s burdens get heavier and heavier.  Slowly, the real world smothers the life out of this new person.  After living such a beautiful and peaceful life on the trail, being home is too complicated, too busy, and it goes against all the common sense of what life is supposed to be.  I put my head down on my pillow each night, and visions of the two foot wide path that was our home for six months frolics in my head.  I yearn for the dirt we walked on, the water that surrounded us and the trees that towered above our heads.  I miss that never ending big blue sky and all the little life forms of nature we encountered every day.  Each new sunrise that greeted us in the morning and sunset that we went to bed with, became my dearest friend.  We grew deeply connected to the earth as each mile passed by.  I realized that humans and the earth are entwined deeply with one another.  We come from the same source with each individual having an important role to play.  The tiny microscopic fungi growing on a dead and decaying tree is just as important and beautiful as the tallest tree in the forest.  Eliminate the smallest aspect and all falls apart.  We humans are no different.  Because of the unique path of each individual, no one is more important than another.  Each person has their own individual lessons to learn.  With this in mind, each deserves not to be judged.  Instead, they need to be embraced with respect and kindness for the job they must do.  That is the way of a thru hiker.

Mama Raven, November 2016

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4 thoughts on “Why is Being Home so Difficult?

  1. Take heart in the fact that you were blessed with the experience and most likely will be re blessed. I firmly believe we plant our posies and stake out our claim to life and earth no matter where we are. To yearn for what was, leaves us feeling lost in what is. Not an easy task to shake the yearning but how glorious to know first hand, unlike most, what is really out there. As I stood , semi lost , at 10,000 feet in the Minaret Wilderness I experienced that total disconnect from the rest of the world.. It wasn’t all that bad, and yet I knew I had to return to the day to day routine that would be my life. Just another portion and phase of my life. Plant your pansies and posies and make the very best of what we are given. That’s all any of us can do.

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  2. Ho, Ho ,Ho, thanks so much for checking in and being present even in the confusion of the holiday season and everyday life in the city. Mama Raven you are the best trail mate . Even though I am on the computer and really not able to hike the real dirt trail you and your Ravens were on I have learned so much and enjoyed the thru hike by reading your posts. All of the memories will continue to inform your daily life and the decisions you make with your family.

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  3. Hi Mama Raven. I had the pleasure to follow your blog last year when you and your family were doing the PCT. It inspired me a lot and this year it will be my turn to walk the PCT hopefully till Canada.
    When I did the Camino of Santiago in 2008, I walked from my home in Switzerland to the northwestern coast in Spain. I was walking for 3 months and when I came back I really had a hard time to get back to day to day life and the daily routine. I think it is so hard because we are not the same anymore as we left. I experienced a kind of freedom, a freedom which I did not experience since I was very young, life was so simple, the only things I had to worry about was food and shelter. What a treat in the world of today! When I came back I had to push myself back in the old form which was not fitting me anymore. The first day I came back from my job I wanted to die, I had the feeling that I can’t do that anymore and just wanted to go back on the trail. Also I could not really talk about my experience with my family and friends because they did not understand. It took me more than 3 months to get used to it again. But the longing for this freedom remained in my heart and this is what pulls me again and again back on the trail.
    I know, that when I will come back in autumn from the PCT it will be hard and it will take some time till I get in the day to day routine again. But you know what? It’s totally worth it! Not everybody get’s the chance to experience this kind of freedom, to meet such awesome people and to be in such a mindblowing beautiful scenery and reconnect with nature again. So I am sure, that your longing will bring you back on the trail again, it is a bit like an addiction..;-).

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    • Kudos to your comments Sommerpose! I understand your words well. Additionally, thank you for following our blog and I wish you the best for your upcoming hike. I am new to this technological era that has been upon us for a long time now. I have done my best to avoid it as if it is something evil. However, I am changing my thinking process regarding these modern forms of communication that are available. I can say something and anybody out there can read it from any part of the world. That is a scary concept to me. Nonetheless, new friends are made from far off places. It is good!

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